17 years ago…… Our beach ceremony, our marriage began I love this particular pic so much because it reflects laughter, laughter even in what can be solemn moments It’s now so interesting to reflect on the fact our engagement photo which we used for several purposes was taken here in the Sonoma Square And now… Read more

This decision around moving Matt to a memory care community is extremely overwhelming at times Last week I thought I had cleared up the ranking….had a top choice for good solid reasons I visited 2 more places yesterday, both in Marin Before I locked us into a decision, I wanted to quell my curiosity, check… Read more

Just when I think I have come to a place of comfort to accept that it is time to move Matt into a community that can take care of him, inevitably, we have some nice moments and I think, you know, this isn’t hard afterall Moments when I enjoy being with him, when being in… Read more

Juno is Barbara’s pup, she is almost the exact same age as Sheba and she is a black lab just like our Sheba Barb, Terri and I are going to tour 2 memory care communities today Juno is coming too, cousin duty If a community doesn’t accommodate Sheba, it’s not going to work for Matt… Read more

I had a nice break this past week I got to hang out with my only brother who lives in Montana Matt hasn’t connected with his phone successfully for months now….. So calling him and checking in while I was gone verbally was a known failure exercise So I got a true break Of course,… Read more

Team Matt crossed the finish line yesterday! 44 miles of peddling, good fun, beautiful wine country scenery It was a ride, not a race, for that I am grateful Lots of time to pair up alongside and have conversations Many chose e-bikes, some of us were “Amish” (a term for riding without electric assist I… Read more

Yesterday was a big day! The Bristow Clan came together to bring the workshop to life Terri and I got the shed cleared out last week So yesterday his sisters and cousins buzzed around making improvements, contributing projects, making the space full of love for Matt Even Sheba had cousins to hang out with as… Read more

I look back at June after we got back from Virginia and see that truly as a new beginning That was when I committed to really taking care of myself, figuring exactly what that meant for me That was over 14 weeks ago now How do I feel now? Amazing! I’ve lost some weight, strengthened… Read more

Yesterday I went on 2 more tours of memory care facilities, both in Sonoma County I hope you don’t mind coming along with me as I process this, its an important part of the journey One of the communities was associated with a larger complex, including independent living, the other was strickly memory care Many… Read more

It’s early, like 6:30 am I got up at 5:30, couldn’t sleep any longer, the sky was dark, equinox will be soon I made coffee, grabbed my wake-up mint tea, made my way to my nest in the sunroom Matt must have heard my russling, he got up about 6 am Usually he is good… Read more

In this journey I have encountered guilt more than I ever have They say its natural, it comes with the territory, and that helps knowing its an understood side effect Let me get specific: my paddling group shared this super cool event that is happening on the Napa River this Saturday (today actually…the day I… Read more

I toured another memory care facility Wednesday, this one in Petaluma This was more of a “facility” than a group home The floor plan was similar to Enzo Village, a big square donut shape with a nicely landscaped court yard in the middle The huge difference is the facility was just a memory care facility….it… Read more

Yesterday Terri came over to help prep the space we are going to turn into Matt’s workshop It’s probably been years since the shed was gone thru We bundled up stuff that we need to leave for the landlord upon their return to the house Terri loaded the back of her car with stuff to… Read more

We spent Saturday at home, I watched my paddling colleagues via live stream compete in the Kona race Then there was the fantasy football draft with my cousins on the east coast Somewhere in the middle of the day I washed my car in the yard Matt just piddled, in and out of bed At… Read more

One of the huge challenges I have is trying to engage Matt in projects, or better put, tasks, that give him a sense of accomplishment I don’t know how much it is accomplishment and how much it is doing something helpful for others, or just simply something to do…..but you get my direction, what I… Read more

Matt got up this morning and his jeans were on his body…..but on backwards I looked around the back, the button was fastened Seriously, how did he do that? How long did he take to accomplish that? Here is Chief One Sock sporting the backward levi look Complete with morning coffee accessories We switched several… Read more

As I have posted my considerations and experiences of looking at alternatives to Matt being here at home with me in the future, many of you have responded All of your responses are appreciated, all of them I consider each and every one, no comment is overlooked or discarded For example, several of you feel… Read more

How many nerves do I have? The expression “getting on my last nerve” must mean there is some kind of limit to how many you have, right? The last few days, week, there has been a significant increase in Matt’s level of pacing, his “utilization” behavior, his doing things that drive me bat shit crazy… Read more

Quick update on Team Matt We ride on September 19th and there are 6 of us riding With your help, we have exceeded our fundraising goal!! Our jerseys have been ordered and fingers crossed that they arrive from Taiwan on time The link below is the page that is shown on the jerseys in case… Read more

I continue to focus on this utility behavior……yes, you might say I am obsessing over it It truly is the one thing, the pivotable thing, that could make a difference in our home happiness Who can help me with this? Traditional OT/home safety: What can’t he safely do anymore, and how do we compensate? What… Read more