That’s a pretty big number, if you are counting cantaloups, antelopes, or telescopes

Pretty big number in blog posts too, which is what today’s post it…..numero 200

Month 14 as well…..my first entry was June 2025

I think back at all that has changed in those 14 months

We were settling into life in Sonoma a year ago, exploring what this community had to offer, connecting with family, friends every chance we got

Working remotely to sell the house in Virginia, dealing with one thing or another

We were discovering new hiking trails, including Bartholomew, East Lake Sutton….we were retreading old favorites like Morning Sun, Madrone Canyon’s Dawn Falls and Ladybug

With all that Matt had lost, his sense of navigation around Mt Tam was something he still had in spades last year

Now, sadly, hiking is fraught with possible peril; he is challenged even to hike the lesser, flatter of the new finds, East Sutton Lake and in abundance of caution, after a mishap last fall, I won’t hike Bartholomew without someone else with me and not with Sheba (for her own limitations)

We haven’t hiked Bartholomew, me and Matt, in 2026 at all

Heat, crowds, long spans of walking….these are all challenging for him now

A year ago, I was still doing the caregiving for him, on my own last year, with breaks covered by Barb and Corny, especially when I had to do a bonzi trip back east to deal with the house, all the dregs of packing, removing all our stuff

Now we have help 32 hours a week, a caregiving team of super sweet women who I have come to rely upon

We lost our first Lewy friend 2 months ago, Greg

He was the one at boxing that lead Matt to try it

Now, Matt has to have a “corner”, a super sweet young lady, Lindsey, to be with him so he can get the most out of the class

I don’t know how much longer Matt will be able to go to boxing, but I do have him set up for the summer, through the end of August, with Lindsay hired to assist

Through it all Matt is still the sweet Matt he has always been

Though its quite a bit harder to understand what he is saying these days

So we started another round of speech therapy today, a super nice, patient lady named Elise who works out of the Sonoma Valley Hospital

He still has his habits of liking to drink beer, but now it seems to me, at least at home, its more of the motion of having a beer that he enjoys

You see, I bought those rubber beer can and bottle caps awhile back so when he doesn’t finish a beer, I cap it and put it back in the refridgerator

I can tell when he has only partially finished beers, which is now quite frequently

I’ve also started hiding extra beers from his six or 12 pack in the water tower

I bought a bunch at CostCo over a month ago, there is still some in the water tower location

So he’s not drinking as much beer, but definitely going through the motions of drinking beer

I’m good with that, him pretending to drink beer like he used to, its better for the budget and better for him too

For me, things have evolved as well

I feel sometimes I am living in 2 worlds

The one world where my life, freedoms, ability to do things is extremely limited, tied down to what Matt can do, limited by the number of hours caregivers are with him, limited by the hours we don’t have caregivers

Then the other world is one that I am beginning to explore again, becoming engaged more regularly in a social group (paddling), exploring things I love to do (swimming and sailing)

Being in this other more free world has opened my eyes to all that I have sacrificed as Uncle Lewy has been living with us

Honestly, the realization, the seeing of the sacrifice is a mixed bag of emotions

On the one hand, I do this, have done all this, because I so love Matt, he is my guy, he deserves the best, no short cuts, he deserves simply the best

On the other hand, I measure what I have given up, haven’t been able to do, can’t do even now

In a word, its hard

These 200 blog posts, though, have been something of a savior for me, a therapy in its own way

Having to write something down requires that something be thought about, words associated with the thought

That in itself is a bit of therapy, just that alone, I find

And you, the reader, you are a family member, a friend, knowing you have interest in our story, the story I share through this blog, makes me feel not as lonely

Your comments, texts, emails remind me that you are there, I can’t see you, but you are there, you care

I ask each of you one thing as I wrap up this post: if you have your health, your freedom to do as you please, deeply enjoy, acknowledge, the freedom you have today

Freedom is a beautiful thing, it can be taken away easily by the unforeseen, not just war, politics, but clearly health changes for you or your loved ones, so enjoy it today in a special way for me, for Matt, for us

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