I look back at June after we got back from Virginia and see that truly as a new beginning
That was when I committed to really taking care of myself, figuring exactly what that meant for me
That was over 14 weeks ago now
How do I feel now? Amazing! I’ve lost some weight, strengthened and exercised my body on the regular, built more relationships outside of the home, made plans to visit my family in Montana and Virginia
More importantly, that has morphed where I am right now in thinking about Matt
I was getting annoyed on a regular basis by the behaviour this disease enabled in him
But now I am finding space to absorb that…..
So now I am thinking about what he needs “more” of:
- Hugs
- Kisses
- Snuggles
- Hearing “I love you” from me
- Shoe tying
- Nightime bed checks
It seems so simple, so obvious, but my experience in this journey is it can be really challenging to separate Matt from the disease
Its so hard to remember that, especially when my stress levels were high, when I was on constant alert, when my sleep was being disrupted too much, when there was never any “me” time
Now that we have a routine, we have more support, I have me time, I’m now in a better mental space to deliver more of these loving things
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