Uncle Lewy

Living out loud with Lewy Body Dementia

Helper

We had a really good time and he was super useful

I would love it if you extended my special thanks to him for being so helpful

It was really fun hanging out with him

–Susan’s text to me Saturday

I called Susan, Matt’s cousin, to see if she had time Friday to hang with Matt so I could go to the funeral

Susan lives in Mill Valley, not too far from where we used to live in Sausalito

Her daughter Lucy has a home in San Anselmo, just a bit further north, that she was trying to sort out some kitchen sink plumbing issues

I think she hoped to get that sorted out before we met up Friday at 10 am in Novato, but the issue was still present so she and Matt went back to work on the plumbing issue together

Matt used to do these kind of fixes all the time, before Uncle Lewy moved in

I am not exactly sure what the issue was

Maybe something was stuck in the pipes

They said something about some black gue they pulled out, using a “snake”

Apparently what they did fixed the issue

Clearly, to me, the most important thing is that they were hanging out together, Matt was with someone he loved, doing something he enjoyed doing

Her note meant so much to me, and yes, I did extend her appreciation to Matt so he felt the positive vibes

His language of love is helping others, this I have zero doubt about

Unfortunately, Uncle Lewy attacks this, makes it impossible for him to continue to speak his language of love like he used to

So having a moment, an opportunity, to be with Susan who he adores, grew up with as cousins in Marin, was so awesome

Thank you Susan for making time, spending the day, giving Matt this chance to hang out

As they were plumbing, I attended the funeral of my friend who lost her husband to Lewy

I am not one to cry, tear up, get physically emotional

But I did, I cried during the service in St Leo’s, a Catholic Church nearby

I met him after Uncle Lewy did, so I didn’t know too much about his life other than he was a banker before he retired

I learned he was a leader in that church of their food pantry distribution efforts for many years, that his shoes will be hard to fill, that this was a passion of his

I learned that his wife, my friend, and he were married 45 years and that they were always super supportive of each other, together in moments they both were executing things they were passionate about, including this food pantry program

After the service, I had a chance to give her a hug, tears running down my face

She promised “we will get together soon”

I think later this week they will be having a service, a moment, with their family that is on the east coast

I think about her now, wonder how she will be handling the quiet that will be at home now, the transition to this new phase of life

How she will reconcile what Uncle Lewy took from her, how she will go on

All I know is as I passed through this moment of sadness with her and those around us Friday, Matt was with Susan, speaking his language of love

Knowing that, I feel I did something right, did something good for him, and that is all I can ask for, all I could have hoped for…

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One response to “Helper”

  1. mentalitysensationallyfc14c86ab9 Avatar
    mentalitysensationallyfc14c86ab9

    Beautiful, CJ. 🩵

    Cathy Stierhoff clstierhoff@gmail.com clstierhoff@gmail.com 415-331-5578

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