Glass doorknobs look like crystal balls

What if every time you opened a door you thought “this door is about to show me the future”

The truth is, they always do

–Grateful AF card deck

We have a ton of crystal door knobs here at the farm house

I feel like I peered, am peering into one this week

One of the first couples we met after moving here to Sonoma shared some news Sunday night

I met them through a contact that Susan enabled for us

She was like me, her husband also suffers from Lewy Body Dementia

We met for coffee, she said that particular day, time was really one of the few windows she had because her husband did an exercise class

Exercise class I said, what kind of class is he involved with?

And that is how we got to know about boxing, this thing that Matt does 2-3 times a week even now

I’ve kept in touch with her through out the journey we’ve been on, separately, but together

We shared our struggles of keeping our sanity in check, the kind of help we needed to consider, all that goes with being a spouse and caregiver in this horrible situation

They live a bit more than a mile away, not far from Nelia, in Kristen’s neighborhood

Well, her news Sunday was he passed away, Uncle Lewy won, the battle was done, over

I had known he was in hospice, he had been in the hospital before that with some sort of an infection or something that it was hard for the team to get their hands fully around

This hospital trip I believe happened sometime earlier this year, so not too long ago

I am sad, very sad for my friends, my heart sinks

As I processed this news, one of my first thoughts was if I should tell Matt

This is someone he boxed with, although, I was more invested in the relationship with her as we compared notes along the way

My fear was it would be too close, too real for him; why should he spend a day he had, who knows how many he has to live, in sadness for someone else who closed out his final chapter already, who had to toss the towel in, hand the victory to Uncle Lewy?

He should be living his life as he wants, doing something he loves, with someone he loves

I texted Corny to get her read, she agreed, probably nothing to be gained by involving Matt in this, right now, showing him his future in such a real way

So Friday I plan to be with her as she brings their, her community together to mourn this moment

I want Matt to be doing something he loves, with someone he loves (spoiler alert: I may be reaching out to you if you are nearby to dial that in)

If he is doing something he loves, with someone he loves, then it will make my being with her, sharing her grief, easier to bear

As I think about going there, being with her, at his service and whatever she has planned, I can’t help but think about the crystal door knobs

This Friday, really this week, this moment as I type this, will all be one for me, a glimpse into what’s ahead in my future some day

In some way, its a blessing, to have this crystal door knob now, it reminds me that we don’t know how many days we have left together

It reminds me to make the best of each day we have

This is what we have, there is no better, this is the best we have, today

<–Back to Uncle Lewy