As I have posted my considerations and experiences of looking at alternatives to Matt being here at home with me in the future, many of you have responded

All of your responses are appreciated, all of them

I consider each and every one, no comment is overlooked or discarded

For example, several of you feel its “time”, time to move him in to a facility that is equipped and trained to deal with his dementia

I don’t know that you are wrong……

Another reader here called me in tears, sharing her regret she didn’t get more involved when her mom moved her dad into a facility recommended to them by their church

She regretted not taking a leave of absence from work to be present during this very important decision and transition period

As it turned out, the facility was insufficiently staffed and as a result, were unable to be responsive to her dad’s needs

He had been a life long runner, totally in shape, but his decline impacted his ability to walk to do basic living things

He needed help getting to the rest room……the understaffing of the facility meant his calls for that kind of help went unanswered … ultimately leading to him trying to do things on his own that he shouldn’t have and having a few heart attacks in the process

Ultimately he passed away before she came to this realization, awareness

Much of this she learned after he passed, so her regret she expressed was real, very poignant, something she will need to work hard to process, to live with, to move beyond

It made me reflect on the facility that took my breath away in its beauty…..remembering clearly that the consultant we talked with for some time was brought in because of the staffing issues the beautiful facility was having

Corny has connections to a few folks living there in the independent living side of the community and they too are frustrated with the staffing as it has impacted them as well

So even the most asthetically pleasing place, if understaffed, might cause resultant suffering which might be worse than him being at home

Either case, him being at home or him being in an understaffed facility will impact my health negatively

So which is worse, which is better? The thing about at home, I have more control…..at a facility, the only thing I can do is bring out the GSD power complaining bitch in me to try to affect a change and that has its risk of failure too

Sigh……

My search for options are not over…..the upcoming holiday weekend has meant that scheduling visits this week wasn’t possible with the team I have deployed to help me

We do have a few days of facility visits coming up next week and the week after

The other concurrent effort, revisiting the house and making it more accomodating to his behavior tendencies is also still in motion

Its just their team are also taking those end of summer or long holiday breaks and it will be mid September till we can initiate work on that front

In the meantime I continue to self currate the home environment so that the things he touches don’t trigger me to freak out

As in any strategic decision, doing nothing is always an option, building in the possibility of being open minded to see a possible pivot a must

Its a slow process, not one I am going to Tasmainian Devil through because that will lower my chances of making the best decision for him, for us, for me

Failure is not an option here, failing Matt is not an acceptable outcome

One piece at a time, a little bit daily

Keep the comments coming, keep sharing your experience, knowledge…..I am listening

The only time things move fast on this ship is when there is a crises, a 911 call, so I am very much hoping to avoid and/or minimize those as much as possible

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