After yesterday’s post, you might be wondering if we went to the Bands at the Basin
I struggled with this decision all morning
About noon, I decided if we go, we are definitely going to try to watch from the Petaluma Yacht Club dock, if we can, if not we’d use chairs I’d put in the car to find a place to sit on the shore
The big variable was how Matt was doing, how he was functioning in the world that specific day
He was slow to get up, slow, albeit somewhat beligerante, to eat his breakfast
He was wondering around a lot, touching things, in bed, out of bed, mumbling
He said “I am going to go poop” and headed to the room upstairs
Then I heard a loud bang, thud….so I ran upstairs
He was laying on the floor, he fell
He may have hit his head on the angled ceilings, or perhaps, he could have slipped on the area rug, not sure
Most likely he wasn’t watching where he was going and hit his head on the ceiling, but there was no mark on his head, so it could have been the rug
I got him settled down, sitting on the edge of the bed, asked him if anything hurt
His head, his hand…later I found a red scrape on his back bone that must have come from that fall
Finally, I made the call, we can’t go to this event
His behavior was unpredictable, its hard enough to manage his behavior at home, where the environment is constant, there are no other people around
If we went to the event, not only would there be more variables for me to manage, but there would be a lot more that Matt would have to work hard to try to sort out
The soundness of my decision played out later in the day
The only excursion we did was to Sonoma Market, our local grocery store
I usually ask him to “drive” the shopping cart in the store, which he did
But he wandered aimlessly, often when I focused on getting a thing off my list, I’d turn around and he’d wandered off
It was one of the worst grocery store trips we’ve had yet
He said he had to go to the bathroom, which I now take those announcements very seriously as the consequence of not have been nasty
I directed him across the store to where the bathroom was, showed him the door, he drove the car away
“Here is the bathroom, don’t you need to go?” Apparently not, he drove the cart away
As we were finally checking out, this quiet cashier who we see a lot, was helping us
He had all the things scanned, was working on totaling it all so I could pay, as I noticed Matt was helping himself to the caramels at the beginning of the checkout conveyer belt
I looked at the cashier and said “did you add one of those?”
He smiled, quietly said “yes”, with a look of complete understanding
That little thing, that little moment, was nice
We left, put the groceries in the car, and Matt offered to ‘”drive” the cart back to the store
As he walked back, I had my eye on him
He wasn’t headed in the direction of the car I was in, luckily, I drove the Jeep and the top was down so I could call his name, redirect him pretty easily
The car next to us had been struggling getting 2 young children and their groceries in the car
The wife was in the drivers seat, the father in the back seat with at least one of the kids
Matt was walking behind the car as they were trying to back up
The father looked at me and said “we are trying to back up”
I started to say something, the father knew I was engaged in the situation, not ignoring him when Matt took a turn and approached their passenger side door of their car
We both noticed this at the same time, the wife was confused
The father said “I’ll help him” and got out of the car
I got out too and we both coaxed Matt away from their car and into the Jeep
Lordy…….Thank God we didn’t go to that event, no telling what would have happened
Later, when we were home and he was wandering around, in one bed, then up again wandering, then in the other bed, unsettled, he said something to me, the only piece I got was “you embarrased yourself”
I don’t know what he was talking about, using those specific words, but my thought is he was aware of some of what happened in the grocery store and he transferred his embarrassment onto me
Whatever…….made myself a bourbon, the first one I’ve had in a week or more
Matt was just having a very off day, Uncle Lewy was in full activation mode
I am so glad we stayed home, played it safe
Let’s just get this day over, try again tomorrow

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