We’ve been back 3 days now from our east coast trip

Matt has definitely been hallucinating more since we got back

When he is awake there seems to constantly be string or something in his hand he needs to discard, but that’s pretty common place these days

Over the last few days he has done a couple things that were interesting, different

Friday, when we went on a hike around the lake, he turned back as if he was looking for someone who was going to catch up to us

I asked him “who are you looking for?”

“Nancy Barbour”

Hmmmm…..Nancy left us for the big family home in the sky several years ago now

So I said “she’s up ahead, she said she’d meet us in the car”

This all happened towards the end of the hike

It could have easily been the hike that triggered that……but it could also have been the shadows of the trip, its hard to say

He had said to me earlier that day that he wasn’t feeling well because he wasn’t getting enough exercise

So I asked him if he wanted to hike the lake, he said “yes, maybe we do a partial” loop

We used to hike the lake trail multiple times a week…..not that long ago–we rarely if ever go now

Admittedly, we took off a bit later, like noon, as the heat was rising, which did cause me to worry

We were at what I thought was a turn around point on the hike, now quite half way, Sheba had 2 swims (out of about 5 she may get on a hike there)

I asked him if he wanted to turn around and he said “No, lets go the whole way”

So we proceeded forward and as I feared might happen, he started reaching his limit about 3/4ths the way around

So we sat down in the shade for a few minutes, he was feeling lightheaded

Our pace slowed considerably, I took Sheba’s leash, I took Matt’s hand

We stopped an sat a couple times

We looked like a set of hand made newspaper dolls when we were walking, all three connected, one pulling the other as we made our way along the trail

Just before the moment he said he felt lightheaded, maybe 10 minutes before, is about when he asked about Nancy

We slowly, carefully, made it back to the car where I had a water bottle with a hydration tab at the ready, gave it to him and asked him drink as much as he could immediately

The rest of the day we just rested at home, kept it really quiet, I took a mid afternoon nap too

Yesterday, Saturday, I had reserved a boat out of Emeryville to cruise around the east side of the bay, explore that marina and things near by

An adventure was planned. Originally we were going to take Nelia, Mike, Leah and the kids out for some fun, but things came up for them, so it was just Matt & I

As we drove towards Emeryville in the car, Matt turned towards the back and had a conversation with someone

I don’t know who it was because he turned away from me and was seriously having words

Another hallucination, one that was very real for him

We found the Emeryville dock, loaded ourselves and our sandwiches onto the boat and took off

I didn’t realize how much taller the Sales Force Tower is than the other buildings in SF, it looked huge from our view angle!

The chop on the water was considerable, so we decided to tuck into the Oakland Estuary

I asked him as we cruised with the Port of Oakland to our left and the bases and marinas of Alameda to our left “Do you find this interesting?” He said yes

The air was cool and fresh, I took deep deep breaths, he seemed to be doing good

I think these hallucinations are shadows of having flown east, having not slept in his bed, not being in his environment for a week

I did a little research and found a source that said it may take a couple weeks to get back to a closer state of normal

So today, Sunday, we are just going to chill

Maybe, if he is up for it, we might run over to a nearby winery for either a pizza lunch or listen to some music, but no big adventures for awhile

As I say that, a possible pizza run or music, I realize how challenging it is to create the right balance of calm, home time with outside sitimulation

Its all a big experiment, I will continue to do the best I can remembering that Matt is lucky to have the village and support system around him that he has, very lucky

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