The last week or so have been pretty low key, nothing much going on

Matt is sleeping late, the weather is discouraging us from attempting to get out and hike or really do much

He continues to do strange things that indicate he is trying to control his environment, move this to there, so on and so forth (as Walter used to say)

He hallucinates, mostly things in his hands that he needs to throw out

I have been reading a lot, hiding in the sunroom

We have a big trip coming up at the end of May to see my mom for her 88th birthday

Between that and me managing medical related appointments for both Matt and me, yes, I am taking care of self in the midst of all this

I am getting things done but feel like life is running at half speed or less

I guess that is a good thing, not entirely sure

I have about 30 minutes until Matt needs to leave to go to boxing, so maybe that will amp up the energy level in this house a bit

The trip to see mom for her birthday will be the first trip Matt has taken by air in a full year

Luckily we can take a direct flight and the places we will be staying he has familiarity with

But I anticipate it will be a challenge, it won’t be easy

Its important though, as I am unsure if there will be another chance for Mom and Matt to see each other again–that realization is poignant

Traveling is hard on both of them these days

Its funny, in a “ha” way, not a “ha ha” way, I have to inform those in our professional support team that we will be gone

They inevitably say “enjoy your vacation”

I want to reply to say this isn’t a vacation for me at all, its going to be hard, I will be exhausted, at the edge of my patience supply, after we return

It does make me think about what a vacation might really feel like, a real one where you go specifically to vacate

Time to dress Matt for boxing, then determine what I am going to do with my hour till I need to pick him up again…..

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