There is a lot going on right now

Politics aside……in our little world…..there is a lot going on

We went to the neurologist Friday

The doc saw I had conversations with Matt’s primary care physician about the Redwoods, so he leaned into that a bit, brought the topic to the table to discuss

I communicated to the doctor that Matt had said, when he was well, if he ever had to go to some place, his desire was the Redwoods

So in keeping with his wishes, we are simply preparing the way so that if that day came, that moving to a place like that was what was best for him, then we’d be in the best position to act upon his specific wishes

The neurologist suggested that its not too early, that given Matt being in the moderate phase, considering a place that is equipped to structure daily activities in a way that accommodated his situation might actually be a good thing to do sooner, rather than later

I wasn’t really prepared for him to get into that, but that’s ok, its a conversation that definitely needed to be facilitated, especially since being “taken away” is one of Matt’s strongest fears, source of frequent delusions

The doc said we need to be concerned about falls, which has happened a time or two, but is not something that has happened a lot so far…..

He did also answer the question of where Matt is in his journey

He said Matt is clearly in the moderate phase, with phases simply being early, moderate and severe

He said this phase usually lasts around 3 years…..severe lasting shorter

So that was a big pill of information to swallow, even if its just averages of other people

Matt has taken back to boxing, now that he has a personal assistant helping him make the most of the class so we went from the docs appointment to boxing

When Matt boxes, I swim, which is something that I really really enjoy these days

We grabbed a burger at Lou’s and then made a quick stop at the local nursery for a few veggie starts

We went home, both committed to an afternoon nap, something about getting a hour or so in the middle of the afternoon seeming so yummy, inviting, irressitable….

As Matt went to open the gate and the next thing I know, he was down, passed out on the ground

He didn’t just fall, he passed out, it took a bit to bring him back to a level of consciousness, adequate sense of being so he could bring his face off the ground

So so scary…..cuts on his hands, face

Those delicious, anticipated naps were put on hold to get him in the house, settled down, cleaned up, bandaged

He crawled into bed, stayed there for several hours

I tried to sleep, but I worried about him, listened for movements, true rest was not to be had

Not being able to sleep, needing to deal with my painfully nervous energy, I opened a wooden puzzle Mary had brought to us during her last visit

I called for a local girlfriend lifeline, Debbie came over, Andi joined too, by the pool to share a bottle of wine, they and it I hoped could help settle my nerves just a little

I checked on Matt numerous times, he was sleeping or briefly up and about, then back to the safety of the bed

Eventually Matt rose, joined us by the pool, had a few moments of normal after an abnormal day

We sorted out some dinner and made it an early night to bed, but I didn’t get a lot of sleep, thinking about what happened during the day, about what the doctor discussed, waking up no more than an hour after I checked the clock the last time

So, there is a lot going on in our little world, our isolated bubble

I just hope tonight, this night, I get caught up on some needed sleep so I have the energy to deal with tommorrow, whatever it brings