Things are generally good here, now

Some of Matt’s evening behaviors that were so stressful (for me) have calmed down quite a bit, I think it has to do with the shift in med timing, consistency of med taking

He still grabs stuff, moves it to places I later find, thinks the trash can is places it isn’t, again, another treasure hunt for me….but its not as severe as it once was where he was moving furniture

Mornings are a bit more challenging……that behavior that was in the evening has now shifted to the morning….so I know its not really sundowners that they have been saying, its the fact the meds have worn off

I still, as an update, have not located my abalone shell and the missing jewelry

Lo, our caregiver, continues to come 2 days per week, helping him take a shower, shave, that seems to be working well

We have a new possible candidate to live in again, we met her yesterday, potentially moving in in the next few weeks if all the background checks and all pan out

She has a story similar to my cousin Katie in Virginia. Started a family young, is working on finding her footing as a single adult with adult children, possibly going back to school to get into something in the medical field

Having someone here helps the dynamic of Matt & I alot, he mentioned that during our interview with this candidate, and he has mentioned that before

We’ve had Mary and Barry here visiting with us for the last few weeks and that was great

Honestly, it been a really fun time, lots of moving parts with Barb and Debbie being part of the scene too during their visits

Oh, and then there are all the dogs…..Dolly, Coco, Sheba…..enter possibly into the mix a new dog if we are able to gain this new live in situation

The dogs are a huge positive addition….all of them, Matt loves dogs

My friend Debbie is temporarily living close by, and that’s been super duper fun, we see her a lot now, she is all mixed up in our life now and that’s a wonderful addition

The thing that is the biggest struggle now is communication. Matt’s ability to verbally communicate is very challenged, difficult

Its one of the things that many folks ask me for advice about how to handle

Its a struggle for me too

I know its frustrating for him, he has a thought he needs to work harder to manage in his brain only to have obstacles between his brain and mouth to articulate

He sleeps a lot, finds refuge in bed, maybe that is just because its hard to be Matt, harder than before

His health is other wise very good, its just Uncle Lewy he has to deal with

He is now going to boxing 2 days per week. He has his own “personal boxing partner” which seems to help motivate him to want to go

I haven’t hung out to observe the class…..I want to give him space, freedom to experience that, the fact that he is up for going is a very, very positive sign

But I am so glad he is getting the benefit of that kind of thing now again, physical activity that challenges coordination, mind body connection, while certainly frustrating, is likely a very good thing

Day club is off the list for now, if I can get some help here at home, he might be happier hiking with her help on a more regular basis

I need my time, my outlets, my social activities, my water activities

Plus, this candidate has some experience working with developmentally challenged children, so there is an opportunity for her to help Matt go out and do things with his cousin Kate on a more regular basis

This would let Matt speak his language of love, helping Kristen by helping Kate. Matt’s language of love has always been helping others and its so very cruel that Uncle Lewy has robbed him of that

So this update I am not bitching and moaning……I recognize we are in a pretty good place, have budding opportunities to resolve some issues in front of us

We have a wide circle of support, in lots of different shapes and sizes

This all said, we do have a home move ahead of us this summer, having additional help soon will certainly let me begin to focus on that, preparing for that

On that note, a positive note, we do have a couple of potential rentals we have an inside track on potential places which is calming down my stress about the move

Its all so expensive here…..but in context, we live so much of our day inside the walls of where we live now, to frame our lives in some place that doesn’t make us happy to save money could well become the living definition of hell

We don’t have enough left time together to allow for that

And I do expect the move will have a big impact on him, its not an easy thing to do in our situation, with Uncle Lewy in the mix

Daily living has to have joy, enjoyment, beauty, outside living, both Matt and I need that, Sheba needs that

We used to travel a lot, but can’t do that now, so our living budget and travel budget can merge together

I am still getting my head around all that…..but needlesstosay, its totally cheaper to live in a nice place, even here in the Bay Area, that we enjoy together than to move him to a place like the Redwoods

So trying to keep things in context of the reality, truth of our life right now

I am ever so grateful for all the love, support, help that we are receiving from everyone

We know things will not get better, so for now, I celebrate we have managed to stay on top of the wave, not in the backwash, undertow, whitewater craziness

Staying the same is the definition of “better” for us, so as long as we can stay the same as long as possible, its a good thing

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