Things seem to be changing, shifting a bit
Not long ago, when we visited places or classes which were focused on helping either Parkinson related issues or dementia related issues, group things like classes, etc, all Matt saw were a bunch of old people who he couldn’t identify with
Not long ago he felt he could still do anything he wanted to try to do
Something is shifting, he is now more amenable to these kinds of things
For example, we had a nursing assessment yesterday
Have a I said how huge a game changer the In Home Sutter care team has been?
The nurse was part of that team
She suggested she arrange for a nursing assistant to come in weekly to work with him to shower and shave
Wow! That’s amazing! I had no idea they’d do that and it would be covered under insurance
He didn’t push back noticeably at all on the suggestion
We go today to have him assessed for a dementia day program nearby
When we toured the facility, he didn’t push back at the concept
So things are shifting, some of the resources that felt so close but so far away because he wasn’t seemingly embracing them are now real possibilities
I don’t really know what to expect in this new phase
I hope he gets more stimulation, more socialization
Perhaps that will tire him out, calm his inner Lewy, dare I say get him into a routine
I certainly hope he moves away from being so grinchy stinky! Sometimes I do think he rubs old onions into his arm pits just like the Grinch did in the movie
In many ways, everything is just a big old experiment
There is a lot of emphasis and support, I am discovering, on keeping loved ones at home as long as possible
That’s certainly the emphasis of the Sutter team we have been meeting
There is another support system that just started in 2024 thru Medicare called the GUIDE program
“Guiding an Improved Dementia Experience” is what GUIDE stands for
I will be diving into this a bit more soon, our social worker really is talking this up
I find myself cautiously optimistic of offerings….worried the marketing over sells the help
But I will give it a shot
One very impactful thing the nurse said yesterday continues to resonate with me
After our visit, I walked her to her car
I try to do this with the in home team, I use managing the gate as an excuse, to have a private moment with them in case they or I need to share something out of earshot of Matt
When we were talking about his journey, about this introduction of a nurses aide to help him shower, I expressed how confusing it is to know what you should do, as the wife, and what you should let others do
Showering seems so intimate…..handing it over to a stranger so…..strange
Then there is the knowledge that the likelihood of trying to help him shower will turn into a struggle fest between him and I…. it can be so confusing to sort thru
She said clearly to me “it may be time for you to step back, let us, others, carry some of the load”
Very impactful, timely words
I am working on that

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