I learned a huge huge lesson yesterday

A phone call at the right moment can be so powerful, so transformative

I am, I admit, a texter, it’s quick, efficient, respectfully lets the other party choose the time they want to respond

But a phone call, a moment of focus between 2 humans, sooo much more

Let me tell you my story:

I was in a very dark place, very dark

The night before Matt and I had it out

I said I didn’t know what to do with him; he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore

Ugly, hurtful

We were both thrashing out at a situation we were both in that was hard, full of things we didn’t want, things that made us both very unhappy

The root cause is Uncle Lewy, but we were taking it out on each other

I was still very hurt, very angry, very unsettled

I slept late, a bit of a Aleve PM and bourbon hang over

(I had been taking January dry till that evening and just needed something to help me cope)

As I was journaling late that morning, Lori called me

”How are you?” “Not good” and we talked, and talked

She has been a princess warrior dealing with her dad’s slip into dementia; 2025 was an intense, very, very intense year of dealing with that

So she has gone through this herself, and it’s not her first rodeo either, her dad’s companion Fran slipped to this too a small handful of years ago,she was very involved

By the time our call wrapped up, I felt, literally, like a new woman

It was the magical power of a call from someone who cares, wanted to touch base, connect, check in

I have hesitated to make a call before to someone else dealing with something

Will I know what to say, will I say the wrong thing….what if I call at the wrong moment?

I now know that doesn’t really matter so much, the chance I could be a lift to them, is what matters

Lori wasn’t just a lift, she was a high speed elevator, zoomed me from my basement of dispair to where the air was clear, I could breath again

Definitely another princess warrior move!

Later in the day Pam, a life long family friend, daughter of my dad’s best friend, called

We hadn’t touched base in awhile, she is in the medical field, a pharmacist, her mom is in an independent living facility so she too is thinking thru some of the things I am dealing with

While I was in a good headspace by then, the power of that call, random, out of the blue, helped me remember there is a bigger world out there than our little circle

And then I caught up with Eric too as he drove to Tahoe

I know how deeply he cares for Matt, how much it meant to him when Matt called him earlier that day

The fact Matt used his phone to make a call independently was a welcome surprise to me! I wasn’t sure he still could honestly

Eric and his family have navigated this space with his dad….he understands the complexity of our situation, wants to lean in and help as much as he can in the midst of the demands of his life

So thank you all for pulling me up, connecting, as you can, when you do

You didn’t know what it would mean, and that’s ok

Others have called on different days, it’s so good to connect

Responses to the blog, texts checking in when it’s been awhile between posts, random voicemails, messages, each and everyone of them mean so much, help so much

I can’t always talk, it doesn’t always work, nonethless, it’s powerful to connect, it’s a wonderful thing!