With the shortening of days, the coolness setting in

The loss seems more poignant, more profound

I have gone days on days not leaving the house

When Matt is off with Courtney or family, I am heads down with work or some clean up project

At night, when I am with him, his words are garbled

His expression of thought incoherent

I watch him fall asleep on the couch, face contorted, hand involuntarily moving

I feel alone, not seen

He is the man I married, yet he has changed so dramatically, that damn Uncle Lewy

During a waking period, I slide by him on the couch

He does say something I can hear clearly “ I love you”

He has refueled me, recharged my canisters

Why did you choose us Uncle Lewy?

You really are an asshole

I hate you for taking him small piece by small piece away from me

You do this as I watch

There is nothing I can do to stop you

It makes me so so so mad, you make me feel powerless some times

I am a solver, yet you gave me a rubric cube I can’t solve, a puzzle that doesn’t have all the pieces

Yelling at you, Uncle Lewy, doesn’t solve anything, I know, but you are to blame