I struggle with deciding what is best for Matt sometimes

Some of this is because he isn’t exactly the same everyday

I am learning that, daily

Some is the balance of maintaining as much normalacy as possible

Enabling him to do the things that he enjoys

For him, that is hiking and other outdoor activities

This winter, he expressed a desire to snow ski

At first, I considered it possible, it was a love of his

How could I hold him back from that?

But then I remembered how impossible it was for him to water ski the previous summer at the lake

He tried and tried, but holding the skis in position to get up was too difficult

Matt at his best, was a bit of a bonzi snow skier

Skis pointed straight down hill

What would happen now?

Would he be able to stop if another skier crossed his path?

We know he struggles in non-urgent settings to receive and follow instructions

What would happen if he was in trouble and Eric shouted instructions to him?

Could he process both the present danger and tips verbalized to avoid it?

Skiing is a multi-hour activity

What happens when he gets tired, his system taxed?

He’ll want to keep up with the guys, like he always did before

The risk was too great I thought, so I appealed to the family to try to help him understand or avoid the risk

Skiing now is a pleasent memory for him

He is saved from snow skiing being a memory of failure, of catastrophe

Hiking, on the other hand, has always been one of his loves

We hike multiple times a week even now

Quickly after moving here we discovered new favorite trails

Its so beautiful to have close family members who take him hiking

Susan is out with him as I type this post

Its great for Matt, for me, for them

There is risk here too

What if he looses his balance?

Loss of balance is predictable with this desease

Its that risk of potential issue so great, like downhill snow skiing, that we need to stop it?

I think no is the answer to that at this time

What is life without doing the things you love, especially when you can do it with those you love?

Somethings the risk is too great, risk not only to Matt, but to other innocents

We have to mourn our losses, we can’t take all risk out of daily living

We can only hope to manage it

I think my bright line is the risk to others, does his under taking possibly risk others? I have to draw a big bright line there I think. High risk to him no go either.

So for now, we hike

The risk seems worth the positive effects

Hike with vigilence

Things could change in an instant.